buyers remorse

i am so excited! i just put my name on the waiting lists at two macys to get that new sparkly hologram chanel nail polish. ive been trying to make a big effort to not spend money lately, but really, as long as i pay my bills, who gives a shit? my goal is to save 200 dollars a month. i dont know what im going to spend it on, but by the end of the year i want a couple thousand saved up. i used to have lots of money saved, but i spent it on junk. im lame.

i want to save up some money to visit julia in florida come may or june, when school is over. hopefully i hit all my sales goals at the bank so i get a big bonus and i can use it for that and to go to new york with victor.

oh victor victor victor. we were talking about going to new york together again but since he paid for me last time, i would have to get his ticket and we would go 50/50 on the hotel. i would love to go to new york again. i miss it so much. all the people and the shopping. and this time i want to see ellis island and go to little italy and check out the fashion walk of fame on 7th and spend some more time somewhere rad like greenwich village. at least if we go he can never hold that over my head again. i hate that shit.

i hung out with him last week and we had so much fun. we went out to dinner and shit and had some strange experiences but i dont remember laughing so hard with him for such a long time. in a couple of months, it's going to be a year since we have been together. it's weird to even think that especially since we still hang out and i dont know, still do all the retarded shit we always do like sit on the same side of the table and snuggle and everything. i miss him so much sometimes but there is nothing i can do. i dont want to like anyone else and i cant and even talking to other boys makes me feel guilty cause i know my heart is with him. oh well. there is nothing i can do i guess.

i just get so mad cause it's like what the fuck victor. you tell me you still love me and then act suprised when i get sad about this kind of stuff. he knows exactly what he does that hurts my feelings and that pisses me off the most. i hope i see him tomorrow. ill pull his leg hair.

its raining outside and im so happy im home. i have four tests this week and i should be studying, but im thinking about doing some damage to the brownies i have in the refrigerator. the heater is on, a marathon of the real housewives of orange county is on, and ive got my fluffy robe on and my hair is dirty. so perfect. i just hope it doesnt rain tomorrow when i have to go up to la. people drive like assholes enough, but for some reason, they really kick it into high gear when it starts to rain. shit. well, back to the television like a fat ass.