comme des garcons fall 2007 3-d hand skirt. who needs the warm embrace of a boyfriend when my hips can be embraced by disembodied pepto bismol pink stuffed hands?
finally, after what seems like decades, i got the damn miu miu teacup shoes. even more glorious than i had imagined. when i put them on, it's like i'm straight out of one of lewis carroll's pyschotic cocaine dazes and thrust into the not-so-magical burbs of orange county.
topshop unique leotard. completely useless but now i can rest easy at night knowing it is safe within the confines of my closet. maybe i'll wear it to coachella? your options tend to be limited in 839045 degree weather.
another reason why i love etsy: it will bring me closer to my japanese horror rodarte dreams than the sad, stretched seafoam green metallic knits at nordstrom rack ever will. this fabulous etsyer knit them for me and although i haven't worn them out, just putting them on and prancing around the house has been satiating enough.
ok so i know i totally work at betsey johnson, and i should have enough betsey dresses in my arsenal to last me several lifetimes, i still troll the bay for amazing dresses i missed out on, e.g., this seashell print silk babydoll dress with smocking and a peter pan collar. it's practically begging to get the courtney love treatment, and i'm gonna be the one to give it to it.
yet, true to my gender's age-old afflictions, i remain unsatisfied. i still want:
a moschino gingerbread man clutch. i mean obvs, totally essential.
early 90s chanel pailette covered bra top. i would wear this with an oversized boyfriend blazer and silk/rayon blend harem pants, all while smoking benson & hedges cigarettes and watching melrose place re-runs.
chanel ice cream print dress. amazing, right? this happens to be one of the not-so-rare instances for me on ebay that the model is totally killing it for me (killing it in a bad way (not bad like 'dude, you are so bad!' but bad bad). did they really have to put this beautiful piece on a tranny built like one of the real housewives of orange county? ick. whatever, i still put a bid on it. eeeks!
a mickey mouse print vintage fur coat. amazing! and $1800?!?! dream on, japanese ebay seller, dream on. totally reminds me of the gypsies trying to sell $800 miu miu brocade coats even though they are like from ages ago, and refuse to answer my numerous messages about accepting my best offer. i hope ebay smites you with sky high relisting fees.
like this amazing miu miu dress from quite possibly the best collection ever, spring 2008. $741, dear british seller? shit i really want it, let's pray i can harass them into selling it to me for a more reasonable price.
normally, i would never endorse any product sold under the pseudonym "rockstar clothing," but in this instance, i must make an exception. case in point, pepe le pew t-shirt, as worn by slash in the use your illusion tour dvds. with my skinny leather topshop pants and this shirt, all i need is a gay cellphone holder clipped to my waistband, and i'm basically mr. hudson (don't think i didnt see that lame ass picture of slash with the cellphone clipped to his waistband. talk about killing the fantasy!)!.
with this coat, i'm straight out of 1988 london. all i need is my marc jacobs zippered boots and a really skinny boyfriend who sneers and spits a lot. it's coats like these that make me wish i had an accent. ughh.
marc jacobs fall 2007 jumpsuit. i would slick my hair back, wear ysl red lipstick, and take on many young lovers in this jazzy little number. pray i get my paws on this one- it's hard to come by!
i know, i know. totally quinceanera meets scarlett o'hara meets hallmark valentines day card, but im such a sucker for hearts, chiffon, tulle, bows, studs, or zippers. 3 out of the 6 accoutrements that usually determine whether or not i want something badly means i should definitely get it. imagine if anything, ANYTHING, were to come out with hearts, chiffon, tulle, bows, studs, and zippers, all at once?! i think i would immediately fall to the floor in a fit of seizures and totally blow a blood vessel in my brain.
that's it for now. my credit cards are quivering in fear.
